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Blast.

Yes, no, maybe?

These 'Fuzzy', 'Limp', 'Back.', 'Forward.' notes haven't been easy to write.

Hopefully, they've added useful perspective.

With no wish to whine about it… in recent years, through personal and family issues I've had a bit of a crap time. (And I'm hugely appreciative that it hasn't been worse.)

Things which of themselves are relatively insignificant and easily handled, when combined with others become of greater effect and harder to deal with.

The experience has affected (weakened) me… and it'd not be fair to not mention it here, for potential partners/associates/appropriate others.

Being entirely open and honest, my immediate reaction to suggestions that I 'Man-up and shut-up!' is one of wishing the advisor good progress on his journey with a hearty '**** you!'

(Of course that's churlish, but I'm open about being flawed.)

However well-meaning such advice may be, and indeed likely work for some people, it's often rooted in an erroneous ideal.

To me, the 'power of positive thinking' can sometimes be overstated, and hence 'be strong, carry on' is used in situations where it may be better to yield a little.

Sometimes we just need to stop, and will be better for it.

You have a run of 'bad luck', stuff not going to plan… some of it really bad. Commercially. Family. Personally.

You continue to pick yourself up, get over it… bounce back.

Each 'event' depletes resources a little further.

The next time, you take a little longer to get square again, using more energy and not getting 'as fully right' as before.

And further hits hurt more.

A cumulative effect, it adds up.

You use energy just trying 'not to slide'. You run to stand still. Then standstill.

Although it long since ceased to be funny, you laugh anyway… smilin' as the shit comes down.

Crash-and-burn tailspin, you dive to the ground… try to hit it harder so's you bounce a little higher.

And, around you, folk pile on expectations… their ideas of how 'you' should be.

Retreating inside, you reach for the dobro… decide to beat out a little blues number on the verandah.

Then realise that was another life. No dobro. No verandah. Hhmmm… bummer.

Still got the blues though, so you flip another Hooker cd into the music machine and carry on.

Yeah, sure, Life's fun…

And there's the 'other days' when, feeling fully refreshed, it's a case of… 'Bring me fresh cape and tights… I want to leap tall buildings in a single bound and fly faster than a speeding bullet.'

Then, setting the controls for the heart of the sun, you push the sliders to max in a 'green-across-the-board, let's-redzone-all-the-needles' burst.

But not today, thanks.

Often closely associated with 'be strong, carry on' is of course the widespread perception that the Chinese word for 'crisis' is composed of elements that signify 'danger' and 'opportunity'.

Nice thought, highly encouraging when you're in the brown stuff minus the paddle.

But it's wholly wrong. And recirculation by the various pundits, therapists and others who've latched onto this meme will never make it right.

I'm leaning on this

Do you want a simple way to reduce emotional distress?

Share it.

Don’t keep troubles to yourself.
Resist locking your feelings up inside.
Tell someone what’s going on.

Sharing a burden makes it lighter. It eases the intensity of emotion.

You don't have to talk to share your concerns. You can write about it.

Sharing your pain will reduce it.

That's why I'm 'sharing' it here.

And yes, I agree that such sharing would be more appropriate in a personal blog rather than a commercial site.

But I don't have a personal site, and my expressions are included here as relevant (though highly over-detailed) updates for prospective allies.