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An unexpected benefit of the 2017 time-out is that, after most of a lifetime with low self-confidence which often has me triple-guessing myself, I'm nearer-than-ever to not caring what others think (whether disparaging or praise)…
I've spent much of my life 'not fitting in', subsequently often reluctantly 'going along to get along'… doing what others told me, rather than what I really want and genuinely consider ok.
Much of this has been with close family, who seem to consider it their right to tell me how I should be living.
(Hell, I even got ridiculed for wanting to do the 'Springsteen, Hammersmith 75' gig.)
And I've had more-than-enough of it.
I've likely not a lot of years left, and want to live them how I consider appropriate… a large part of which will be not doing things simply because others expect it of me.
Fortunate enough to have an inquisitive/sharp/quick-witted mind, naturally resourceful, and often so obsessively-minded that the often-long-hours required to achieve high standards is my default… for much of my life I've 'been a grasshopper'.
Why? Because for 55+ years (I'm sixty-two now), self-doubt has been rampant.
I've rarely been of 'appropriate mindset', and hence have lived relatively withdrawn… hugely hampering my ability to 'earn proper money on a regular basis'.
I've usually managed to take care of my family, but it's often been a bumpy ride in which money has often been a relatively rare visitor.
And it's entirely my own fault.
I've too-often switched between commercial ventures… abandoning things which I should have continued (because of good longer-term potential, based on well-informed expectation rather than naive hope), to do stuff I should never have even considered (but did because others told me I should).