'Rumors of my demise may not have been greatly exaggerated.'
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'Fuzzy' mentioned I've ongoing health issues which affect my work.
This has never been a secret, and although something I don't want to dwell on or whine about, it's relevant and should be mentioned.
Since about 2006 (I think), I've had a progressively worsening CFS-type thing.
It's certainly beyond normal stress-induced burnout (which seems to have been the initial trigger, aggravated by continuing to work rather than rest).
Significantly weaker than I used to be, it's required a change in how I work…
- Shifting to more of an advisory/background role.
- Part-time… 3-4 days a week, each no more than 4-6 hours, plus some complete breaks (day, week, or more) where required.
Beyond the frustration of not being able to handle my commercial activities as well as I'd like, I'm not too bothered… hell, things could be a lot worse.
And, as I said, I'm reluctant to mention this because there are many people with far more serious conditions and greater challenges.
But the reality is that I won't work as much as might be expected of someone in my position, and so to conceal this would be less than honest toward prospective business partners and others.
The physiology of this is alarmingly simple…
You don't have enough 'hormone-fuel', energy expenditure outstrips restorative processes (like a rechargeable battery that won't recharge), and the body is unable to regulate itself and function properly.
So you keep pushing harder, operating significantly above your actual illness level.
The 'pushing' has similarities with credit cards; you're able to do things you couldn't 'afford', but the interest rate is extortionate… serious metabolic, homeostatic and cardiac insufficiency issues, cognitive dysfunction through premature brain ageing (degraded by elevated cortisol levels it becomes harder to store new memories [learn stuff] and access old ones [remember how to do stuff]).
Any possible fix begins with an extended period (months not weeks) of rest, without which further deterioration continues… organs fail and you eventually fall over and die.
Good fun. I don't recommend it.